My life is ripe and succulent...beautiful and shiny and new. Just the other day I was driving home, 2 precious bitty boys in the back seat and I thought- This is just too good to be true... I hope something bad doesn't happen.
I had that waiting for the other shoe to drop feeling...And then I remembered- the other shoe did drop. And it hit me directly in the face- hard- and it left a little mark that helps define me now.
A little over two weeks ago my first born, almost 3 year old baby boy, Greyson, was officially diagnosed with Autism. We had been treating him as if since last summer...but I still hoped and I still prayed that I could change the outcome of our story before they ever printed the actual book.
I believe wholeheartedly in the power and the beauty of positive thought...of like attracting like...I have always tried to focus on the good, but now I have even more motivation to focus on the good. There is so much good in the World. If you are a Momma, you are an amazing and precious soul. Chances are, you are too hard on yourself! Now I see even more goodness and kindness in the World and I am humbled by it.
Two weeks later, my life is still perfectly imperfect. I am happy. Do you want to know why? Because I think it so.
When I first started Early Intervention school with Grey last Summer, I was a petrified little bird. His teacher at the time took me under her wing, and since she was a 15 year old veteran I thought what she said was truth. She would help me walk to the car afterwards and give me her pearls of wisdom...I remember her looking at my youngest, saying, "Poor Parker. The sibling of a Special Needs child often has to go to therapy because they often feel neglected." Another day she told me, "Having a Special Needs Child is very difficult on your marriage. Many of them end in divorce."
So here I was...dealing with the realization that something was wrong with my sweet little boy...all the while being a recipient to her words. One day, I started to hear my gut instinct again... I started to hear my own voice, and my voice was much louder than this teacher's, and much more beautiful to my ears.
My youngest son, Parker will be the most understanding, helpful, flexible and protective little brother.
He will be beautifully molded by our journey. I have met many families that contain an awesome Spectrum kid like Grey, and they have some of the best siblings I've seen on Earth. They are loyal, protective, helpful and loving. They will grow up to be better people people because their life has been enriched.
My marriage is great. Sure, we bicker over stupid things. I am always right- and sometimes my husband fails to see that (!) but he and I have never been more on the same page as we are now. Our marriage is stronger and better...we are united because we both fight for the same cause...Team Greyson.
Sometimes it's tough, for sure...but sometimes it feels like a storybook too.
Being Grey's moms means I have many supplemental challenges to tackle, in addition to the regular old challenges any mom of an 11 month old and 2 1/2 year old would face. When I need to vent, I do...I get it out! I talk to my Mom or sisters, I run, I complain to my husband or to a couple of close friends... But I don't really need to that often because I am happy with my life.
We do preschool at our house on Mondays. I would be so bored without him in my life!
We get really into, "Slippery Fish". We were doing the Octupus part here.I am lucky to be the Mom of my two precious souls. If I talked a lot about the challenges, that would put additional focus on the bad...then I would certainly find someone in a similar situation and they would share their same struggles and how they felt like they could relate..and then we would talk about it together and then there would be even more energy spent on the challenges...
But when I seek out the beauty, the awe, the inspiration...I find it every single time...so I like to share those stories and share those messages, and they multiply...and they come back to me...
It's a beautiful thing, friend. I want you to be happy too, so focus on your good.