Friday, May 20, 2011

Perspective Shift

Okay, so caffeine with dinner was a BAD idea! What was I thinking?!? This is NOT the night to be up past 1 am! Just thinking about all that is planned for tomorrow is exhausting...unfortunately just not exhausting enough to help me sleep!

So while I browsed the Internet tonight, I noticed something wonderful has happened within me. But let me back up a bit first...

After Levi's birth, I spent a lot of time online looking a pictures & videos about Down syndrome and wondering, "Will Levi look like that kid? Will his speech be like that?" And on and on. It was hard to have this sad feeling every time, like, "I don't want him to be that way."

Tonight, I looked at a few blogs & videos, and each time I saw those kids, I felt such peace. I know that no matter how much Levi is able to do or how well he is able to speak, he is going to fill me up in a way that only he can. I happened upon this video that would have hurt my heart in the past. I actually have seen performances of this sort in the past and REALLY did not like the way they made me feel.

When I watched this video tonight, I didn't focus on how poorly the kids danced or how out of sync they were with each other. I noticed how they wrapped their arms around their parents. I noticed the looks in their eyes. I noticed how much fun they were having, and most especially, how much their parents adore them.

The wonderful thing I noticed about myself tonight is that I am not worried about what Levi will be like when he is older. Now rather than being afraid of his future, I can't wait to share it with him. He will (and already does) make me happy and proud, and the depth of his affection is more meaningful than any IQ test could ever be.

Don't forget to pause the music player before playing the video. There is a lot more to it than the performance, so watch it through to the end!


R said...

How aweome!! Dance 21!! Love it!!! I had to laugh, because I always say that Bobby, once he starts talking, will come out with an English accent, because his Speech therapist is English!! Now I DO know what he will sound like!! LOL

Leah said...

Sweet! :)

Jenny said...

Darn it April, I hate crying first thing in the morning!! This was beautiful, thank you for sharing it. Last year I wouldnt have been able to watch this video, it probably would have made me cry for different reasons than I am right now. Watching this right now I cry because I feel so overwhelmingly blessed to have Russell in my life, I cry because I feel peace about his future, I cry because I feel he will bring a happiness to those around him that they cant find anywhere else.
This post was amazing! A great start to my day :)